Three things happened to me yesterday. A Rav 4 went straight through the give way sign and I had just enough time to skid, hit the horn and stop the car, inches from collision. Phew! I watched a movie that evening called "One Day" and at the end of the movie the beautiful Anne Hathaway was fatally hit by a truck on her bicycle. I went to bed watching an X factor audition that made the panel (and me) cry when she sang like a bird having had a 2% survival chance from cancer. She said to Simon that even though things get hard you can still be happy.
I realised this morning that I could have woken up in hospital with serious injuries instead of my lovely king bed with a soft skinned, 'cute as a button', young son next to me (who'd sneaked in during the night.) Yesterday's events have changed me. I told my husband I loved him SO much and I sent the kids off to school with doses of love and affection that I was actually, genuinely feeling. I think I was starting to feel free again. I am a pretty open person but of late it had seemed there'd been a few things piling up that had somewhat compressed my usual cheery nature. Like flying solo as a parent for 6 months while hubby is away, needing to sustain some kind of rehearsal schedule, buying groceries, balancing kids sports, late night pick ups from Scouts then early morning netball games. Oh and there's year 6 camp prep and then splitting my brain up to figure out how to fix those rips on the ceiling from my recording booth, the 'so called' easy to remove stickers that left behind a paint job. Social distance with all of that too and you start to ask yourself when do I get to breathe? I'm living but I craved that space and freedom. This little shock wave of events actually did the trick. I will start singing every day instead of just at rehearsals and do what I love more. Hubby said, "you light up the room so just keep doing that." What a honey!
Our summer holidays in the 80's were spent on the NSW mid north coast for around 3 weeks, away from it all. I remember the hours we spent in the surf, the afternoon naps, hamburgers for lunch and the only TV choice between live cricket or tennis. That place taught me how to relax. My new single 'Livin and Breathin' is about that holiday feeling but it's also about being grateful for being alive and helps me remind myself to just breathe and be me. 'Breathe deeply, until sweet air extinguishes the burn of fear in your lungs and every breath is a beautiful refusal to become anything less than infinite." Antoinette Foy.
I'll have to remember that next week when everything goes back to normal and my kids can't find their shoes when it's time to "get in the car!" Think I'll play that song......
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